water that are doing it. --- Former U.S. Vice President.
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country. --
-Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese. --- Former French President.
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president." ---
First Lady of United States, commenting on the release of subpoened documents.
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. ---Famous Film Actor
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law. --- NYC Mayor,
discussing his failure to pay taxes
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions between the
two, but can't remember what they are." ---A Tv Show Host
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but
cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and
stuff." --- A Famous Singer
Miss USA was asked: "If you could lice forever would you and why?" Her reply was then: "I would not live forever because we should not live forever because, if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live foreverm which is why I would not live forever."
If you look like your passport photo, you're too ill to travel. -Will Kommen
I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up. -Dean Martin
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found. -Calvin Trillin
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping. -Rita Rudner
My husband wanted one of those big-screen TV's for his birthday. So I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already. -Wendy Liebman
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes - and six months later you have to start all over again. -Joan Rivers
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. -Henny Youngman
Inside me there's a thin person struggling to get out, but I can usually sedate him with four or five cupcakes. -Bob Thaves
He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. -Ben Franklin
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. -Rodney Dangerfield
My doctor is wonderful. Once, when I couldn't afford an operation, he touched up the x-rays. -Joey Bishop